Decode THIS

I've run out of steam lately as I am winding down to under two weeks left in this ridiculous cast. I'm just over it. I'm tired of inconveniencing everyone to do even the smallest of activities. I'm tired of the logistical nightmare it is to get around. I'm tired of uncomfortable sleeping. And, I'm tired of my strange dreams. I'm not on any narcotic pain killers or other mind-altering potions, but yet, my dreams as of late have been stranger than strange.

Take last night, for example. I was in a house with some friends and all of a sudden, two grizzly bears appeared. They got up on their hind legs, roared and bared their claws and teeth. Fright and panic set in. We rushed to lock the doors (since these grizzlies had the ability to open and close doors) to keep ourselves safe. The details beyond this get a bit fuzzy. But, I do recall someone finding a rifle and shooting one of the grizzlies. Then the other came back and tried to re-open the door that had come unlocked. BAM. I beat him to it and re-locked it. I think I sprayed Raid on the bear through the window because then it fell down and was writhing below the window.

I kept coming back to see if the bear had died yet, but no luck. Then, oddly enough, the bear started to look more human. It was in pain, but scary still. The house transformed into a sky scraper building, and the bear that was once writhing below the window sill was now writhing on a thin lip of the building. The bear was fully human looking at this point. I then realized I recognized the bear. It was Washington Capitals young buck defenseman John Carlson. I went away hoping this bear-man-Carlson would soon die so we could leave the house without fear of being attacked.

At this point, I started feeling badly for how terribly he was suffering. I hoped he would die soon for his own sake. I checked back and saw him writhe falling off the lip only to grab onto it with one hand and eventually pull himself back up. Damn it, I thought. I snuck out a back door and went in search of the rifle owner to ask him to shoot the bear-man-Carlson to put him out of his misery.

Well, by the time I had gotten  back, Carlson had fallen from the lip onto the pavement, but was still alive. So, I called 9-1-1 and was frantically saying how one of the Washington Capital's stars was seriously hurt and needed help fast. They came, revived him and I felt like a hero for saving John Carlson's life.

OK. Someone explain that to me before I check myself into the mental ward. I think it's related to the fact that I've been using a lot of Raid lately to kill winged ants that flood my room when the sun sets. I also saw another mouse running down the basement stairs last night. Oh, and I heard some man screaming on our street around midnight, so I sat up in bed alert for a while thinking he would break in to the house. OK...seems that's the basis for the dream plot, but the cast of characters?! Come on!

Look at this ferocious grizzly. Straight outta my dreams!

Does John Carlson resemble a grizzly bear? No. More like a teddy bear.

 

Ahh, yes, this is more like it!

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant

And other days (well, for me it's everyday) you're the flamingo.

Fun with photoshop

Ahh, the stupid things I do to amuse myself...

 

Since I have so much time on my hands these days after work, I will try to post a few more new pictures in the weeks to come.

Everyone's crow is the blackest

I work with a woman who doles out cliches and mixes sayings into her regular dialogue as easily as she breathes air. I've started to jot these down, as most have never rolled over my ears before and most probably never will again. My favorite? One time during a meeting, she referenced how certain people suggest outlandish ideas that will never come to fruition by saying "sometimes it seems like they're trying to boil the ocean." Brilliant! While I have yet to reuse such saying in any of my conversations, I am about to borrow another one of her gems.

Today was cast day for me. I got the pesky plaster splint removed from my leg for my first post-operative appointment. It was SO liberating to have that thing torn off after trying to sleep through many an uncomfortable night with it digging into the tender sides of my ankle. The battle wounds on my ankle 10 days post-surgery weren't pretty. MAN, were they UGLY and GROSS. I don't much care for them. I will spare you from the pictures I took since I don't think anyone wants to see a crusty, bruised, stitched up CANKLE.

I'll let you create your own mental image of the gore and instead show you what it looked like just before they paper mache'd  my cast on. The tape is covering where they removed my stitches. Kinda hard to tell from this angle, but I've got serious cankle action going on. Also have to mention that my calf muscle in that leg is already a bunch of mush.

My orthopedic surgeon sent me home with a few pages of glossy photos of the inside of my ankle which are pretty cool. I wish he had labeled them for me so I could explain what everything was to my lucky family members who get to listen to me drone on about the topic. Basically, he told me that the insides of my ankle were far more littered with shrapnel "floating bodies" than the MRI had shown. They removed pieces of cartilage floating around everywhere. They re-threaded the ligaments on the outside and then sewed in an allograft (cadaver) tendon to reinforce the ankle that is woven through a hole they drilled in my bones and secured. They cleaned up the bone lesions that resulted from bones grinding where the cartilage was no more and drilled a cavern where new cartilage would regrow.

I will spare you from my moans and groans about how frustrating it can be to deal with crutches, how bruised my hands and sides are from the crutches themselves, how even the simplest activities have now become herculean efforts. The first shower I took a few short days after surgery was an epic fail. I had to jump over the lip of the tub and over the sliding glass door tracks and into the wet shower on one leg. Dangerous and not advised. Luckily, I only sustained one shin bruise and didn't fall. I also didn't have my vinyl shower cast protector yet so was standing with one leg out and one leg in. I didn't get all of the shampoo or conditioner washed out of my hair and was later drying soap suds off my body.

I could go on and on, and focus on how bad things are for me. But, everyone's crow is the blackest. There's someone else out there with far greater, more permanent challenges.

Instead I will try to focus on how fortunate I am. I was lucky to wean off all of my pain medicine 48 hours after the procedure and have my parents close by to tend to my every need. I am blessed to have such a great mother who, despite being under the weather, went above and beyond to make sure I was comfortable. I am blessed to have great friends who sent encouraging texts and emails, paid visits, cooked meals, and chauffeured me to places. I am lucky to have insurance that is covering the full cost of surgery. AND, my luck continued as they had just one black cast kit left at the hospital today. Not everyone's cast is the blackest! I chose from green, blue, white, pink, red and purple. Part of me now wishes I got purple, but purple doesn't match my outfits as well as black does.

My leg's new home for the next six weeks. I can't put any weight on it until it comes off the last week of June. I can't wait till it gets warmer and I start to sweat...oh boy. I told my surgeon I was worried I'd start losing friends if the cast doesn't stay fresh. I guess I'll find out!

A week full of goodbyes

This was a hard week on my heart. While some of the things weren't as sad as others, it has certainly been a week!

• The Caps got soundly swept in the second round of the playoffs :-(
• Gary Williams announced his retirement from coaching Terps basketball :-(!
• I underwent ankle reconstruction surgery bidding adieu to my bum ankle :-|
• Osama my house mouse was trapped and killed :-)
• Osama bin Laden was trapped and killed :-)
• I canceled my sparingly-used gym membership :-)

The first two items still have me bitter, reeling, sad and angry. I think I also might be in shock/denial. How dare the Caps put us fans in through the same scenario as last year?! Hrmph....DC sports teams. Then there's Gary. Garrrry. GARY! He's the face of Maryland basketball! He's the reason most people come to watch the team. I will miss his croud-rousing fist pump, his profuse sweating, his angry rants, his pacing, and his knee-splitting squat. Oh, yeah, and of course I'll never forget how he resurrected the Maryland program into prominence. The 2001/2001 basketball season when we won the national championship was probably the sports highlight of my lifetime.

Now for my ankle. Here's what she looked like pre-surgery. Pretty normal-ish on the oustide. Beat up on the inside! This is my first experience with surgery, casts and immobility. As an extremely impatient person, the next two months as a gimp will be trying.

And this is me with my glorious splint. I won't get my hard cast for another ten days or so.

My poor leg won't see the light of day until the last week of June! So far, the nerve block they put in my leg to numb my sciatic nerve hasn't worn off yet (and might not till tomorrow) so I haven't felt a full course of pain yet. Here's to my soon-to-be-new best friends Oxycontin and Percocet!

So, goodbye Caps; goodbye Gary Williams; goodbye Osamas and good riddance; goodbye ankle and good riddance; goodbye Fitness First...sorry we didn't get to see each other much. And here's to some new beginnings!

HilaryEats...less?

Is it possible? Am I really on a "diet?" I don't know, but I am trying to be.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved pigs--the animals. I've acquired every possible kind of pig item over the years as well. From pig trash can, to pig print socks, to stuffed animal pigs, to pig earrings, pig key chain, pig pot-holder, pig spatula, pig bank, pig pen, pig book mark, pig ornaments, pig mugs, pig EVERYTHING.

I am also fond of ham and pork products, but sometimes struggle with that since I think the animal, especially piglets, are beyond adorable. In fact, I want to own a pig someday. I saw once that mini-piglets were being bred in Britain as housepets and I half-considered moving there so I could partake in that love.

And for as long as I can remember, I have been called every iteration and variation of the word "pig." From being called "Miss Piggy" by my chubby neighbor, to my dad calling me a "little piglet," to my college friend Frank calling me "Carnitas" or "Porkita," it's been ingrained in my mind that I am a pig. My friend Sheri even tagged me in a photo on Facebook once that was just a picture of pigs she saw at some farm. I can never manage to eat a meal without having some of it appear on my clothing. Be it a crumbs down my shirt, or sauce and food stains on my pants and shirts, it's a disaster. I also snarf down large quantities of food in one sitting, much like my animal counterpart.

And as I now attempt to cut carbs out of one of my daily meals, I feel like I am disrespecting my very being. It's hard for me to stomach. (Ha.) I am finally trying to exert self-control when I make selections for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The good thing is, the eateries around my office do have good-tasting AND healthy salad options for me to choose.

I hope that I can stick with this, but for now, I should probably start a new blog called HilaryEatsLess.blogspot.com because I can't bear to bore people with talk about small portioned, healthy-food options.

Food truckin'

I'm in a Puerto Rico state of mind. This morning, upon seeing that the high temperature for today was to be 50 degrees, I thought, time to ditch the coat and the pants! This is skirt weather! Fifty degrees is kinda like 80, right? No. After also forgetting to put on deodorant, I hopped outside and thought, maybe it's still coat weather..and popped back inside to grab a thin coat. Then halfway down my walkway, I ran back inside to get my scarf. But my legs, my poor legs froze to death.

And they continued to freeze to death on my walk to Farragut Square this afternoon to indulge in some food truck action. There are dozens of food trucks in the DC area now and to my good fortune, my coworkers are as down with food truck adventures as I am. We've all but sampled the fare from every truck but PiTruck, Eat Wonky, DC Empanadas, District Taco and this new Latin truck. For a running list of the food truck frenzy, check out www.foodtruckfiesta.com.

Today I decided to go with the Sauca truck's Beef Shawarma. I couldn't have picked better! The meat was thinly sliced, well seasoned, tender and covered in Chimichurri and Tahini sauces. The whole bundle was enveloped in a fluffy, doughy pita.

I've also tried their Mumbai Butter Chicken and the Medi Veggie which were equally as good. Be sure to check the Sauca truck out when you can. They have three trucks roaming the area and I saw recently that they have recently introduced some sort of kababs.