Supplanting my garden with a carden

It's nearly June, which means my garden of herbs that I planted in early April should be flourishing by now. Or not. After a rollercoaster of fickle weather, my poor plants aren't sure what season it is. My basil is a pale green color and keep seeding as if its easing into Fall. The thyme is growing, but yellowing here and there. And the cilantro, well, that's another story. Since it was planted, the cilantro had been growing at an explosive rate. So much so that I could snip some for use in some Cinco de Mayo recipes. Well, upon checking on the plants a few days afterwards, I noticed someone or something had mowed my cilantro down to stems. Mere stems!

I have seen a rabbit slinking around behind the bushes in my courtyard. Was it him? Or was it the drifter who lives in the stairwell near the courtyard? Or maybe it was one of my fellow residents in a tacky display of neighborly charm?

Or maybe I will have better luck sustaining my patio garden on my car. Yes...my car garden, er "carden" is looking good, folks. My 13-year old car, that is slowly starting its transformation into a full-blown beater. It's missing a signal headlight, has tape on another main headlight that has now burned out, has a back fender sticking out slightly, has a busted grill from an accident, hasn't been washed in a couple years and now, has plants growing out of the trunk.

What do you think these will grow to be? I think one of them resembles a maple tree. That's not gonna work out well!