Eye Patches Everywhere!

It's starting to creep me out. Every day for the past few days I have seen someone wearing an eye patch. Not just any old eye patch, a black, satin eye patch. What could this mean? Are pirates taking over DC? I thought about this yesterday on my walk to the metro thinking how weird of a coincidence this was becoming. Then sure enough, a man in a seer-sucker suit strolls on by at 7th and D street donning none other than a silky eye patch.

I am no stranger to the eye patch. On two occasions during my childhood, I had to wear an eye patch after inflicting severe trauma on my left eye. The first time, I pierced my cornea with a holly leaf while bending down into a holly bush to get an errant whiffle ball. The second time, I was playing pick up softball with the neighborhood kids, swung the bat and hit the softball into my eye, again, scratching my cornea.

The thing is, I was not given the option of a sleek, black eye patch. I had this bulky make-shift white gauzey thing on my eye that made it appear that my eye had, in fact, been extracted. I think I had to wear it for a week, but it seemed like an eternity. And, boy, did the eye patch elicit many a quizzical stare. Couldn't they have invented something a little more discreet to shield the eye?

Oh, and I was also a member of a band called "The Eye Patches" back when I was seven. We wore...eye patches. Started by my cousin Matt who had nothing but hate for the New Kids on the Block, most of our songs were, in fact, NKOTB's but with different, more spiteful lyrics. While I was relegated to the role as back up dancer, I still was required to sing the lyrics during our rehearsals. The one I remember the most was "Oh, oh, ohh oh oh, we're hooked on drugs. Oh, oh, ohh oh oh, we look like thugs." To this day I still wonder why we never got a record deal out of this.

But I wonder what is going on in this area. Are people starting to get careless with their eye care? Are there just a lot of unlucky souls who happen to look in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or is this just a lifestyle choice? A new fashion trend? What's the story behind it! I need to know! For my own sanity! And if I see another eye patch wearer tomorrow...