Crazy or 21st century communicator?

Telecommunications technology has evolved much in the past ten years and cell phone usage has become common place, regardless of economic status. Whether walking the streets of the city, riding the metro, or driving around town, it's hard not to see someone using a hands-free device for their mobile phone these days. Especially now that DC law prohibits use of cell phones while driving, and Maryland recently implemented a "no texting" law to increase safety on the road, many a driver has resorted to using speaker phone, an ear piece, or a blue tooth.

But many times, the ear bud is hard to spot. Many times, it's hard to tell whether the mobile phone is in the driver's lap on speaker. And every time I encounter one of those individuals, chattering away, gesticulating with a sense of urgency, I hope and pray that they're wearing a blue tooth on their hidden ear, or that their cell phone is buried in their lap.

But far too many times, there is no blue tooth. There is no cell phone on speaker. And there is no ear piece hidden behind hair. These individuals aren't sophisticated, 21st century communicators. They're just plain crazy. And I encounter them enough to make me think they're drawn to me somehow.

On the flip side, I am always sure to illegally hold up my phone while it's on speaker during a drive to ensure people know I am not talking to myself. I stopped wearing my blue tooth years ago out of fear of being mislabeled a nut job. I only sing in the car at night or when other cars aren't nearby. And if a car pulls up next to me, or the broad daylight fails to shroud my secret habit, I resort to humming.

Now today on my ride out of the city on the reliable Metro, a woman sat behind me...motionless... singing. This was new in my book of quacks. Was she crazy or was she just singing in her sleep? The singing muffled down to a low hum as we neared my final destination. At that point, I noticed we were the only two passengers left in that car.

Was her hum/singing a siren call to lure me in so she could attack me? Why would she want to attack me? My mind started to wander into a dark, dark spot. I weighed my options. I felt like I was writing my own Choose Your Own Adventure Book.

If attacked, would I:

a) run to push the emergency button to stop the train and call for help
b) fight her until we pulled into my station so I could run off the train for help
c) grab my pepper spray from the front of my bag
d) whip out my two-inch long Swiss Army Knife

At this point in the wild adventure...in my head, I snapped back to reality. The train reached my stop, I calmly exited and went on with my uneventful evening. Thank goodness the situation didn't turn into a "situation." Thank goodness no one else saw the whirlwind inside my head. And thank goodness I haven't blogged in so long that none of my "followers" will read this and realize that despite the fact I don't talk to myself (and go out of my way to make sure people don't think I am doing so) I am, in fact, a little bit nutty. :-)